Pudgy Perkins and The Black Cat Club


- The Initiation -

By Richard Logan Brimhall

Once upon a time, not so far away and not so long ago lived a little runt named Pudgy Perkins. He was a scallywag, a little poochies and a little munchkin all rolled into one. He was eight years old, had lots of freckles, was short with a belly like Santa Claus and he had bright red hair. He always wore a white T-shirt, black and white high-top tennies and Levis that were his pride and joy as they were so dirty that they could stand alone in corner of his room when he took them off at night. Above all else, Pudgy was perhaps best described as mischievous--he was a perpetual accident just going somewhere to happen. His sly little grin and the spinner atop his beanie cap, that he had saved Post Toasties Cereal box-tops to get, spoke loudly and clearly that this kid was a little mover and a shaker.

Pudgy was almost eight years old. This was the big week. It was going to be his eighth birthday, and this meant only one thing to Pudgy, he would be eligible to become a member of the marvelous Black Cat Club--that is if they would accept him. The Black Cat Club was the most wonderful organization in the world!

The club house was located just across the alley from Pudgy's backyard. It used to be a chicken coop. Every year since he could talk, he had begged the Black Catters to let him in, but they had always said he was too little. The club charter said that a member had to be at least eight years old, even though no one had ever been admitted at such a young age.

Pudgy knew that it was going to take something very special to get himself into the club. He had a plan that he just knew would work. It just had to! He had saved his allowance, a quarter a week, for over a year and a half. He was filthy rich. He was rolling in dough (money). He had twenty, whole dollars saved up. He was sure that this was more money than any of the Black Catters had ever seen in their whole lives. He had sacrificed his Saturday afternoon movie matinee, and he knew this wasn't normal.

He really missed movies like Tarzan, Roy Rogers, Gene Autry, Flash Gordon, and oh, so many wonderful comedies like Woody Woodpecker, Casper the Friendly Ghost, Mighty Mouse, Popeye the Sailor Man, Felix the Cat, Tom and Jerry, Donald Duck, the Roadrunner, and all the rest.

He had starved his poor little body by going without candy, milknickels, popsickles, and worst of all, without his super, duper, chocolate, ice cream, milk shakes at Annie's Store.

He, however, hadn't lost a pound as he more than made up the difference at the dinner table.

Was all of this sacrifice going to be worth it? He just knew that it was. He was going to get into the Club even though no one had ever actually been admitted at eight years old. After all, he was different. He was Pudgy Perkins, the most wonderful, handsome, intelligent, clever, loveable kid in the whole, wide world.

Tomorrow was the big day--his eighth birthday. He was so excited that he couldn't sleep all night long.

The next morning at school all of the kids in his class and the teacher sang happy birthday to him. Pudgy was his usual self and lapped up every minute of the attention. At morning recess time, he looked for the Black Catters and finally found them over at the baseball diamond.

Tubo had just struck out, and everyone was consoling him. Pudgy walked right up to Tubo and said, "Mr. Tubo, I am eight years old today. I want to be admitted to the Black Cat Club". Tubo was really big for eleven years old.

He peered down over his big belly at fiesty, little Pudgy. "Pudgy", he said, "Just 'cause you're eight doesn't mean you can become a Black Catter. Why should we let you join the Club?" Pudgy's response was lightning fast, "Cause I am rich! I am filthy rich! I've got more money than you guys have ever seen! I am rolling in dough!"

Every head turned towards Pudgy. Buger Red piped up first, "Pudgy, your dad is a railroader just like our dads are and we're not rich."

You could have cut the air with a knife and finally Booper spoke, "Pudgy, just how rich are you?" Pudgy had them all going now.

He bounced back like gangbusters. He stuck out his little chest, squared his shoulders and tried to suck in his gut as he strutted his stuff. "Fellows", he said, "I have saved my allowance for over a year and a half, and I have exactly twenty dollars!"

Wee Willie walked up to Pudgy, stuck out his hand and gave him the secret Black Catter hand shake and said, "That's just what it takes for your entrance dues to be able to join the club. Right guys?" Everyone yelled, "Right!"

Booper told Pudgy to be at the club house Saturday morning at 10 o'clock for the final decision. He explained that one of the Black Catters would have to be his sponsor for the initiation and during his first year as a member, if he was accepted.

Just then the bell rang and everyone ran for their classrooms.

It seemed that Saturday would never come, but it finally did. Pudgy watched out of his bedroom window as each of the Black Catters arrived. Finally Tubo got there. He was always late and the last to arrive. Pudgy looked into the mirror by his bed and pronounced himself handsome and wonderful. He tilted his lucky charm beanie cap down over his right eyebrow, which he knew made him even more handsome. He then reached under his bed and pulled out the old grey sock full of quarters.

How he had loved to dump them all out on the floor and feel the cool, rich, silver coins slip through his fingers. He had often dreamed he was diving and romping through rooms full of money as Donald Duck's Uncle Scrooge always did. Well, it was time to go.

In a flash he was out the back door, through his back yard, across the alley, and at the door of the Black Cat Club House. He stood there for a minute with the sock full of money in is pudgy, little hands looking up at the ominous, Halloween-like, arched back, black cat figure painted on the front of the clubhouse. He took a deep breath, gulped, and rapped his little knuckles on the big door, giving the secret code--rat-a-tat-tat. Almost immediately the same signal came back from the inside followed by three screeching meows. He responded to this with the best and loudest three meows he could muster. The door swung open, c-r-e-a-k-i-n-g loudly on its old, rusted hinges. Out of the darkness came a fat, big hand. Into it he put the sock full of quarters. The hand disappeared into the gloom for whence it came. There was a brief pause, and then a light come on inside of the club house. Pudgy could see inside now.

All of the Black Catters were standing in a semi-circle grinning from ear to ear. Tubo was in the center. Tubo stepped forward and said, "Candidate Pudgy, you may enter the Black Cat Club House." As Pudgy entered he sang out, "Candidate Pudgy, requests permission to become a member of the Black Cat Club."

Tubo addressed the rest of the Black Catters still in the semi-circle, "What say ye Black Catters? Will someone sponsor candidate Pudgy?" Wee Willie took one step forward and said, "I will act as candidate Pudgy's sponsor, if he passes the initiation test." "What say ye Black Catters?" asked Tubo. "If he passes the initiation test, will you allow him into the club?

His dues are paid!", he said as he held up the bulging, grey sock stuffed with quarters. He was grinning from ear to ear. The voting was unanimous as each Black Catter in turn meowed once to voice his approval.

Booper walked over to the corner of the club house and took an old sheet off from a mysterious object. Pudgy wondered what it was. It was about two and a half feet tall - a mess of wires, dangling tubes, knobs and dials. Booper said, "The initiation is accomplished by this machine. It makes people disappear!" As he plugged the machine into the wall, it began to light up and hiss and spark. Pudgy was scared. What was going to come next? Tubo then explained that the machine was magic, and that it would make anyone who took off all of their clothes, except for their shorts of course, become invisible for one full hour.

Pudgy's face lit up with glee as he started stripping off his clothes as fast as he could. As he removed his T-shirt, Porker yelled, "Look, his head and chest are disappearing.!" The old stripped-down Motorola console radio screeched, hissed, smoked and spit more sparks than ever as it got hotter and hotter. Pudgy's socks, shoes and pants came off next and Johnnie yelled, "Where did he go, I cant see him." Pudgy, in his enthusiasm and just to make sure he was going to be totally invisible, peeled off his shorts and even his lucky charm beanie cap. He started running around the room, pinching and socking the Black Catters to make sure they really couldn't see him. The Black Catters played along yelling, "Where is he? Who did that? Ouch, that hurts!"

Just then the piercing voice of Pudgy's mother overpowered all of the commotion and noise. Her high, whiny voice declared, "Pudgy, Pudgy Perkins, Where are you? Where are you? Pudgy Perkins, I know you can hear me. You get home right this very minute!"

Before anyone could stop him, Pudgy bolted out of the clubhouse door naked as a Jay bird. He headed across the alley with all of the Black Catters in hot pursuit trying to stop him. He ran through his backyard gate yelling, "Ha, ha, ha, you old bag! You can't see me!" He jumped up and down waving his hands wildly above his beannie caped, red head.

His mother ran forward picking up a willow branch from the ground, grabbed Pudgy by his arm and began to whale the daylights out of him. "Pudgy Perkins, what are you doing running around naked? You little rascal, I'm going to teach you! I'll spank your britches right off." But, of course, Pudgy didn't have any britches on. Pudgy tried everything he knew to get loose, but it was no use. His poor little pink behind turned redder and redder with each and every flick of her switch as he squealed in pain. The Black Catters quickly withdrew to the refuge of the clubhouse, where they could still hear Pudgy's cries of anguish. Pudgy's mother was so involved that she had not even noticed them.

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